Artist Statement

At 23 I was spiritually bankrupt. 

My relationships with others were largely adversarial and transactional; I was always waiting for the ball to drop and desperately tried to control people and my situation to stay ahead of what I saw as an inevitable explosion. 

Alcohol played an integral and double edged role in managing my emotions and expediting my downward spiral. Furthermore, my artwork was largely a space to imagine what I was searching for: connection with others. The subject matter was sex and violently distorted people who could be my friends. 

Around this time; my roommate was throwing away a box of his old books. On top of the stack, was a book with a seagull on the cover; “Jonathan Livingston Seagull”. For some reason, which I can only attribute to God or a higher power, I picked up the book; and triggered a spiritual awakening in myself. I started to see my life as a journey with the ultimate goal of connecting to this higher power; and others. 

I stopped making art, and focused on strengthening this connection. Strangely, I found it in unexpected moments right in front of my face; screaming at me – mourning doves outside of my window; a penny on the ground; a subway ticket in the machine when I forgot my credit card. It’s in this moment right now as I write, if I can remember to look. 

Now as I start making work again, I wonder what I’m trying to say? Probably, that we can share a moment together and be connected if we stop and look – that it’s not our race, gender identity, or sexuality that bring us together; at worst, these concepts drive us apart. We should remember the strange, knowing force that brings us to this moment and connects us.